1. |
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Is this the best that it'll ever get?
Is this the best that it'll ever get?
Is this the best that it'll ever, ever get?
Is this the best that it'll ever, ever get?
Is this the best that it'll ever get?
Is this the best that it'll ever, ever get?
Jesus, I love you
But I'm so confused
Why you'd do this to me after
Everything I've done for you
(There it is, there it is, there it is, there it is)
I'm just so confused
They said you'd make miracles
But miracles only happen
Whenever they seem to be happening to you
(There it is, there it is, there it is, there it is)
That makes me sad for you
Yup
I said I'm sorry, like, a hundred times
Wish you'd forget about the things you don't like
Wish I could make it up to you before I run all out of time
But I'm running out of time
I said I'm sorry, like, a hundred times
Wish you'd forget about the things you don't like
Wish I could make it up to you before I run all out of time
But I'm running out of time this time
Is this the best that it'll ever, ever get?
Is this the best that it'll ever, ever get?
Is this the best that it'll ever get?
Is this the best that it'll ever get?
(Is this the best that it'll ever, ever get?)
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2. |
Modica
04:05
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Another year older
Passing through the pages of your story
Making room for others on your journey
Giving love, living love
Semi-tones aren't bright enough
Pins and needles
And the threads that stitch these fabrics
When your hands are getting cold
Sleep in the TV static
Double-up on all your habits
Running from the thought of feeling old
When the nights aren't long enough to hold onto
With the horrors of the outside looking in
Try not to listen to what they're telling you
You and yours are gonna make it to the end
When the nights aren't long enough to hold onto
With the horrors of the outside looking in
Try not to listen to what they're telling you
You and yours are gonna make it to the end
I can talk about my past, or I could not
I can talk about my past, or I could not
I been tearing at my throat
I been tearing at my throat
Spent some time in hell
Got to know myself
Spent some time in hell
Got to know myself
[NOISE]
Spent some time in hell
Got to know myself
Got to know myself
Got to know myself
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3. |
b4ULeev
03:23
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Don't leave
Before I wake
Believe
In me
Don't be
The kind of person
To flee
From me
I suffer
Until you suffer
And I pretend that I'm better
When I know that I'm not
I think about it a lot
(I think about it a lot)
How I try my best, but I get bad marks
How I shoulda known better than to take it that far
Now I'm bad, bad living
I don't know where we are
I have a hard time hearing from the opposite side
I've got a lotta big plans, but I never really have enough time
And I gotta bunch of dead best friends hangin' out in the back of my mind
So, I'm sorry if I crossed a line
Don't leave
Before I wake
Believe
In me
Don't be
The kind of person
To flee
From me
I'm nervous, this shit is ruthless
That's not an after-thought, I'm gonna lose it
I'm feelin' useless, Debbie-down, noose-fit
Killin' off a century of wishing I could do shit
Somebody catch my breath, I can't keep chasing it
It scares me half to death, I keep embracin' it
It tries to take my life, I keep replacin' it
And you dont know the half of what I know about the taste of it
I'm sick of being sick of being sick of everyone else
It took me years to think of someone else and not just myself
I make mistakes, like, every day and you keep giving me hell
I feel surrounded, and I'm grounded
I've got stories to tell
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4. |
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I never wanted to hurt you
Never wanted to make you cry
Never wanted to say goodbye
But, for now, you're gone
Here, I'm left, sitting on the lawn
I never wanted to hurt you
Never wanted to make you cry
Never wanted to say goodbye
But, for now, you're gone
Here, I'm left, sitting on the lawn
Do you think I'm happier with, or without you?
(Do you think I'm happier with, or without you?)
Do you think I'm happier with, or without you?
(Do you think I'm happier with, or without you?)
But, for now, you're gone
(Do you think I'm happier with, or without you?)
But, for now, you're gone
(Do you think I'm happier with, or without you?)
Do you think I'm happier with, or without you?
(Do you think I'm happier with, or without you?)
Do you think I'm happier with, or without you?
(Do you think I'm happier with, or without you?)
Do you think I'm happier with, or without you?
(Do you think I'm happier with, or without you?)
Do you think I'm happier with, or without you?
(Do you think I'm happier with, or without you?)
But now, you're gone
(I never wanted to hurt you)
But now, you're gone
(I never wanted to hurt you)
But now, you're gone
(I never wanted to hurt you)
But now, you're gone
(I never wanted to hurt you)
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5. |
Take Away The Last Of It
03:38
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Settle on down
You always get so heated
I can't think when you're too loud
I wanna make you proud
But I struggle with my emotions
Been keeping myself in motion
Take away the last of it
I been worried about our future
Cause you're all that I had left
Ran out of blood
I ran out of oxygen
I think I've had enough
You feel entitled to my love
You break it up
Cause you think that you've found better
Better than I was
Better than what I was made of
I've been recluse
Tell me, honey, what would you have me do?
I been runnin' away from the women I meet
That are just like you
I been feelin' lonely
I've still got something to prove
Babygirl, make your move
I'm a living cancer
I'm just like you
Take away the last of it
I been tryin' to keep my mouth shut
But my teeth wanna open up
They wanna open up
Ran out of blood
I ran out of oxygen
I think I've had enough
You feel entitled to my love
You break it up
Cause you think that you've found better
Better than I was
Better than what I was made of
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6. |
BaebyFace
02:46
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It's been a long time since you left it
I burned my hands on the mattress
I cut my lip on the edge of the glass I broke
You called the ambulance
I don't wanna be sick like this
I don't wanna be less than fortunate
I don't wanna self-medicate
But I need to be medicated
Yuh
I'm too much like my old man
I could try to explain, but you wouldn't understand
You could try to relate, but it's getting out of hand
And I'm too fucked up 'cause we already happened
I could see a blemish in the close-up
I could tell a lie with my mouth shut
I could feel my skin turn inside-out
When I found out just where you been sleeping now
Yuh
So we lost it
We been stuck in conflict
We been opposite
Do we really need a reason to go with it?
So we lost it
We been stuck in conflict
We been opposite
Do we really need a reason to go with it?
All that I could hope for you
Is everything I owed to you
No more feeling blue
It's everything to you
It's everything to you
Fuck all about me, I can't even sleep
Strung-out and wishin' I saw everything
Open my chest, I done gave you the best of me
I'm inconsiderate, Honeybee
Manic, I'm panicking, swear I knew all of the answers
To questions you're asking me
If only you'd pick up the phone
I'm starving and carving my way to the bone
So we lost it
We been stuck in conflict
We been opposite
Do we really need a reason to go with it?
So we lost it
We been stuck in conflict
We been opposite
Do we really need a reason to go with it?
Yuh
All that I could hope for you
Is everything I owed to you
No more feeling blue
It's everything to you
It's everything to you
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7. |
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I used to talk a lot, but now, not so much
My family had a lot to say about me keeping it shut
My family had a lot to do with all my ammunition
I'm losing track of all my bullets, and I can't find my gun
And I'm sick
Like, really fucking ill
Like, nasty on my spirit
I can't fix it with pills
Like, every time I try to move, I end up standing still
Like, everyone around me better if I'm by myself
Wish I could think ahead and keep from runnin' mouth
Wish I knew everything back then like I do now
Wish I was better when I still had you around
Wish I could pick myself back up, I'm feelin' down
And I'm pretty sure that everyone is lying to me
Paranoia sets in, and it's hard to admit that I feel unfit
To be goin' outside like this
To be spendin' my time like this
To be livin' my life like this
Too sick to exist, I commit to a fifth
And I bury myself in the mattress
Unconscious
No conscience
I'm selfish
You felt it
I'm hopeless
I wrote this
In hopes of keepin' my-myself in motion
Unaccountably, we are alone
Forever alone
And it was meant to be that way
It was never meant to be any other way
And when the death struggle begins, the last thing I wish to see
Is a ring of human faces hovering over me
Better just my old friends, the walls of my self
Let only them be there
I have been alone, but seldom lonely
I have satisfied my thirst at the well of myself
And that wine was good, the best I ever had
Having been born into this strange life, we must accept the wasted gamble of our days
And take some satisfaction in the pleasure of leaving it all behind
Cry not for me
Grieve not for me
Read what I have written
Then forget it all
Drink from the well of yourself
And begin again
Unconscious
No conscience
I'm selfish
You felt it
I'm hopeless
I wrote this
In hopes of keepin' my-myself in motion
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8. |
Basic_Blood
04:36
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I was like a scarecrow
And you, forever waiting
For me to come back to life
Now the autumn's over
And the other birds are flying
Southern Belles look for loving in the skies
I am afraid of heights
I was afraid of you and I
Look at how my flame all out
Thinking 'bout days missed
(I was afraid of you and I-I-I-I)
Look at how my flame all out
Thinking 'bout days missed
(I was afraid of you and I)
Deliberately, and full of mud
Invested in the thought of us
More of my bad behavior
I can't keep myself in place here
I shake things up
And make things so much worse for us
And I can't help but wonder if I made the right decision
(Please don't call my bluff)
It's madness, fragile rabbits
I can't speak 'cause I don't have the words
To make you feel the way you want me to
I'm reaching out to you
I did everything you told me to
I've got nothing left to lose
And I still feel bad for you
I get sick, and you call me pathetic
We go hard in the paint, leaded
I don't like it that you're so hot-headed
When I bring it all up, it get down to percentage
I don't wanna take jabs like that
And my last one missed 'cause you move too fast
And my teeth turn loose, and my feet can't move
Now you can take everything that I owe you
I hope that whatever this is, that it's making you feel all better
'Cause I been inside of my house since the first of the year
And I'm under the weather
I never remember how everything started
I know that I know I know better
I know that I know I know better
I know that I know I know better
Look at how my flame all out
Thinking 'bout days missed
(I was afraid of you and I-I-I-I)
Look at how my flame all out
Thinking 'bout days missed
(I was afraid of you and I)
Look at how my flame all out
Thinking 'bout days missed
(I was afraid of you and I-I-I-I)
Look at how my flame all out
Thinking 'bout days missed
(I was afraid of you and I)
Look at how my flame all out
Thinking 'bout days missed
Look at how my flame all out
Thinking 'bout days missed
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9. |
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To my true love
I love you so
No one else
No one else knows
Now that I'm gettin' older
I've ruined things
For my past life
My sweetest dreams
Now that I'm gettin' older
I've ruined things
For my past life
My sweetest dreams
Now that I'm gettin' older
For too long, I'm picking the pieces up
Unhappy with how much a mess is us
I wanted to make a few changes
But now, I'm all stuck inside our rearranging
Maybe I am all of our problems
I'm really sorry I couldn't solve 'em
But now, I'm starting everything all over again
I miss back when I could call you a friend
I'm buried by all of my trauma
From time to time, I still get stuck inside all of my losses
From time to time, I start to feel a little bit selfish
'Cause all I really want, for me, to feel less helpless
Remember back, when we were walking on the boardwalk?
Day drinking, 6AM, and we would talk about God
Everything was easier then
I wish we never happened
Now that I'm gettin' older
I've ruined things
For my past life
My sweetest dreams
Now that I'm gettin' older
I've ruined things
For my past life
My sweetest dreams
I been thinkin' bout you talkin' bout me only thinkin' about myself
And you're entitled to your own opinion
But, it's the other things about me that you fail to mention
Like all of the funerals I can't attend
I keep losing track of the friends I have left
I keep losing track of who's already dead
Well, fuck it. I'm over it.
Thank God for no more options
No second chances, I just about lost it
I'm awful, pathetic, and ignorant
Said it yourself, that shit hits different
You told me imma struggle alone
But you're looking pretty lonely in the funeral home
All I wanted was a way out, you wanted me to stay down
The future kinda right now
Now that I'm gettin' older
I've ruined things
For my past life
My sweetest dreams
Now that I'm gettin' older
I've ruined things
For my past life
My sweetest dreams
(Hi baby)
(You lost your phone)
(And you just went outside to get it)
(And, I love you)
(So)
(Okay, well I'll see you when you get back inside!)
(I love you, I miss you, I can't wait to see you!)
(*sigh*)
(I really miss you today)
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10. |
Ugly, Sick
04:18
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Remember when?
I was in love with your face
I wasn't living complacent
Remember when?
I never wanted to change
And we were building resentments
It wasn't you
That led me this far astray
I been a nomad by nature
Remember when?
I was in love with your face
Before I let myself get
Too far down that rabbit hole
I feel ugly, sick, and miserable
I been betting against myself for a hundred years
But all I consider is
Sex, tough luck, and Adderall
I been crawling up and down the hall
I been letting myself feel sick for the sake of
Letting myself feel sick for the sake of
PICK UP THE PHONE
PICK UP THE PHONE
PICK UP THE PHONE
PICK UP THE PHONE
PICK UP THE PHONE
PICK UP THE PHONE
PICK UP THE PHONE
PICK UP THE PHONE
PICK UP THE PHONE
PICK UP THE PHONE
PICK UP THE PHONE
I been so depressed and shit
That I couldn't make a difference if I tried
Caught all in the water, up to my eyes
Broken, no mechanic at this time of night
I lied
I said I could do better
When I knew you wanted better
Than I knew I could do ever
And if everything you ever did
Was only for the best
Then, I don't know what you want from me
You scared me half to death
You want it bad
And you're exhausted
I miss my friend
I know I lost my shit
Big mad
And you're exhausted
I feel exhausted
Already lost it
All my friends
My friends keep dropping like flies
And I know everybody dies
But the truth hurts badder
When you're only gettin' sadder
I been walkin' under ladders
And I can't remember why I tried
Your eyes, and your hands
And your face, and your mouth
And your body always giving me
Lies
Well, I'm sick to my stomach
But, I'm feelin' better 'cause of it
Moments only matter in time
Adderall
Adderall, Adderall
Adderall
Adderall, Adderall
Letting myself feel sick sick sick sick
Letting myself feel sick sick sick
Adderall
Adderall, Adderall
Adderall
Adderall, Adderall
Letting myself feel sick sick sick sick
Letting myself feel sick sick sick
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11. |
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Pardon my disconnect
I never wanted to be selfish
Fix my head
Gentle mother
I'm alone again
Bury the messes I've made
And hold out the hands that keep me safe
Cover my bones when I'm too broken
And carry me back out into the open again
I hear them circling above my head
These vultures
These doctors
They want me dead
I believe it
I believe it
(I don't wanna die like this)
(I dont wanna die)
(I believe it)
They were taking notes
On the mess that was my brain
Telling me to cope with what I've been
And work through all my pain
I was feeling useless
Buried my head in the dirt
I don't wanna be social
I'm an awful example
I don't wanna die like this
Strung-out on the pavement
I'm patiently waiting for rain
I'm patiently waiting for rain
And I grind my teeth
I fall asleep for a few days
I'm feeling dead again
I hear them circling above my head
These vultures
These doctors
They want me dead
I believe it
I believe it
I hear them circling above my head
These vultures
These doctors
They want me dead
I believe it
I believe it
I'm feeling dead again
I'm feeling dead again
(I fall asleep, I fall asleep)
(I fall, I fall, I fall, I fall)
I'm feeling dead again
I'm feeling dead again
(I fall asleep, I fall asleep)
I'm feeling dead again
(I don't wanna die like this)
I'm feeling dead again
I'm feeling dead again
(I don't wanna die like this)
I'm feeling dead again
(I'm feeling dead again)
I don't wanna die like this
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die like this
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die like this
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die like this
I don't wanna die
I'm feeling dead again
I'm feeling dead again
I'm feeling dead again
I'm feeling dead again
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